Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Continue to Date your Mate

I truly believe one of the  single most importnant factors in lost of spark in a relationship comes from the stoppage of dating. When a couple first meet and start to date there is a magical feeling there. They want to be together often and usually on the phone talking or texting each other to stay engage. Perhaps you remember the time that he use to sing, write poems, or take you out frequently. Maybe she would give you massages, cook, and make you feel love each second you were in her presence. What happened to the living happily ever after once you met that special person that you thought was the one. What happens to the spark? It is thought of by many people that when two people meet they start off with a spark. Then they fall in love in live happily ever after. Sorry to bust your bubble but in many cases that's not how it is. Many that fall in love are left in a more mature state in their relationship. They usually are deeply bonded but not connected on the intimate level as in the beginning.

OK...For the good news!
It doesn't have to be this way. Obviously there will be some days where one may feel more in love and others where the connection and intimate level isn't there, but these are issues that can totally be conquered. That magical feeling does not have to die out. It starts with killing that thought process that after awhile it is what it is in a relationship. We together...We been together…I understand her...She understand me...etc. To achieve firing back up a spark a couple need to realize they have to date again.
What you need to search for is that time in the relationship where it was a WOW. Where it seemed like everything was about you and your mate. Nothing else mattered! If you two didn't have many memories then just go rent a movie about romance. That should help out a bit. Also going on dates and doing things are not the only way to creating that dating experience  over again. You need to create a department in your brain that would allow you to feel like the relationship is something new. Women give your man a new look. Go buy a new dress. A style you usually don't wear or different design in your hair. Men go get a new piece of clothing. Something she not use to seeing as far as style. This will create that perception that you are new because your style would be new. This little bit of style can carry that thought on for days.
Stay curious about new aspects of this “new” person, no matter how extraordinary the situation seems. Allow your love to grow and change. Be daring as you try to keep the spark alive. Try new things...Think exciting...Happiness...Fresh!!! Most importantlydon't kill the experience by thinking about the past, and thinking about how you previously went about things. Think outside the box. Surprise your mate and yourself. Go get concert tickets..Stay at really nice hotel overlooking water…Dinner on the lake. It would be fun, and it would create the spark that you are looking for. Doing this experience monitor your feelings. You will realize that there is a spark that is being rediscovered.

The beginning of an Relationship

The beginning of any relationship is very critical. There is a 50/50 split on where things can turn. You may like the person one day, and just as easily you can despise that person the next. Why? This is because you are trying to figure that person out. You are interested to see what they are about, and if they can help better you. Many people always concentrate only on the positive things at the beginning of any relationship. It is very important that if you are really trying to meet someone then you put in the effort to learn that person. It's important to not only focus on the positive, but also the negative ways to a person. ***Get to know the true them***. This is accomplished by spending valuable time with someone. There is no way that you can actually learn someone without spending quality time trying to get to know them. Often the last thing you want to do is just hop into a relationship with someone. Good example would be like taking an exam. If you meet a person out at a dinner on a Monday there is only so much you will learn that night, and most likely you will not learn anything on their dark side. If you started to study for an exam on Monday you will take in a lot. YES! You will take in many of the topics that you find to be easy to grasp because as you dig deep it gets harder. Tuesday you decide to catch up with that special person because you felt so connected, and before going out for a movie you decide to study a bit more. Tuesday is a good night! You learn and You learn..lol....Now for the next week you decide that you want to stop studying, and that you not going to contact that special person. This is where the problem come in with time....Why? Well because you did not put no time in studying you have lapse and most likely forgotten everything that you had studied, and you probably forgotten what this special person look like. Now they feel like you on games and is starting to question you as a person, and you feel dumb because you just wasted a week of your life. With both of these cases time spent could have at least saved one of them if had you studied or spent time with the person. These are the types of topics I will discuss. There is a lot of information that I could share to both women and men, and I am very excited to get started with blog.