How To Know If A Man Is Right

It honestly starts with where you meet the guy. If you meeting guys at the clubs that could be part of the problem. I'm not saying that it is against all codes to meet a guy here and look for success, but the chances of it being something good is slim. Why? Because many of these guys are looking for something that you are not looking for. If you looking for an extended relationship then these probably not the guys for you. These guys are about having fun. They are also looking for a girl in many cases but not in the club. They're looking to have a good time. At the club there is also other things that are factoring in when you meet someone. It is dark so you can barely see that person, and alcohol can alter your vision just a bit. So the next day when you get that call you may be a bit confuse on how he looked, or he may be a bit confuse on how you look. Also there is very little chance for communication here because of the type of venue. So basically you are just exchanging numbers without even knowing much about one another.

So once you pass the stage of actually meeting a guy you must open yourself up. Women must learn how to accept a guy for what he is before she want to start changing him. It is important to not look for perfection or imperfections. Allow a man to show you what he is about without trying to dig so deep you hurt your brain. It is very easy for a man to hide his flaws especially if you are trying to crack them. As a woman it's important that you just let a man be a man, and all the rest will show up at some point. May not be when you want it to but it will. Often women try too hard to try to catch a guy in a lie or perhaps examine the exact intent of every word that he has spoken when they first begin dating. Ladies, I must tell you that many men are very good at telling a woman what she wants to hear when it's just for a short time or to get what they want. So that lead me to one of the ways that can help determine if a guy is for you. It is important to observe a man in a argument or when he is upset.

In these moments that he feels overwhelmed you will be able to see how he manage himself because he will be showing you how he handle raw emotions.

Perhaps he becomes extremely sarcastic?
 Try to hurt you on purpose?

Does he become withdrawn and not want to speak with you for hours or days?
 Ignore your phone calls?

Does he lash out and attack you when he's upset?

Does he realize how upset he is and make an attempt to try and resolve a conflict?

I honestly feel that a relationship don't really starts until the first major argument. Man is not only suppose to make women feel wonderful but also allow them to feel safe. It is easy for a man to make a woman feel special. It is much harder for a man to not become harsh with a woman when he is upset so she feels safe. A man that can control his emotions to allow a woman to feel safe at all times have potential to be a keeper. When a man can make you feel both, you've got something special. How a man responds when he is upset will determine how safe you feel with him. Without that security of knowing that he is strong enough to not punish you harshly when he is upset will allow you to be able to trust him the way you or he wants.

 Women smile and say hi to men who pass your way. Try it for a week. Don't do in the club...lol...Try it for a week. All type of guys will come up to you if you having trouble with getting guys to come up to you. It will make you seem more friendlier and approachable.

The Importance Of The Word No

Do you have the bf/gf who never say no? Are you that person? Do you wonder why your spouse runs over you? Do you feel your relationship is broken because you decided  to say yes a lot more than no? There are those people that feel uncomfortable with telling people no. There are those who also like asking people for everything and some.  How does these two people coexist? You have probably been in that relationship where you never said no, and you have come to the realization that your spouse is always asking you for something or want you to do something. This is not cool and now as a result you find yourself having a hard time saying no. You are scared to say no because the problems  it may cause.


From a past experience saying yes to everything is about the worst thing you can do in a relationship. Is it bad to say yes? no! But, the ratio can't overwhelmingly favor yes. If it does then there could be some major issues once you start to get tired of saying yes all the time because your spouse could get upset when you say no. Why yes? You have your people who feel that you should put other people needs and feelings first and as a result they are scared to say no. They may have been taught that putting your own needs before others is being selfish, and that selfishness is a negative trait. I was this person once. I wanted to say yes more then no. Why? Because I thought it would make my relationship better. One thing I can say is that I'm happy I've learned this concept early on in dating. After awhile I could start to feel the effects of saying yes too much. I started to feel used up. I felt that there was never a moment of surprise because I always said yes to everything, and realized that I wasn't doing neither one of us a favor in the long run by saying yes. I did nothing but condone the self-centered  behavior, and destroyed the relationship. I'm not sitting here telling you to say no to everything but I'm telling you that it need to be in your vocabulary when dealing with someone in a relationship.

Some relationships may work with yes all the time, but for an healthy relationship no have to be in there. Saying no not only protect your feelings but it helps your spouse recognize and take responsibility for his/her actions. If you let someone abuse you by taking advantage of you they will not stop. You will have to stop them so why let it go that far. Learn the importance of the word no. How to use it..when to use it. You may wonder why do you allow yourself to continue to say yes? Well you are scared. You may really like this person and scared of rejection and looking like you not there for them, so you have a desire to project a positive self-image. A positive self-image is Great! I'm told I try to be nice to people, and look like the nice guy. Well........Should I want to look like the bad guy?...LOL...

You may be that person that hates saying no, but you must carry it with you in your back pocket just in case you have you pop it out. No to being used and taken advantage  of. No to those who want to steal your energy and give nothing in return. No to those who complain and bring you down. No to those who love making you feel guilty. At the same  time you must learn to say no to yourself. No to feeling sorry for yourself. No for blaming others. No to wishing you were somewhere else in your life. No to being unhappy.
No to putting yourself down. If you are afraid to use the word no how will you know when you are to use the word yes. Growth is about learning to give to others, but before you can do that you must learn how to give to yourself. You must learn how to  nurture your own ego until it is strong so that you are able to give the best to yourself and others around you. Know when to say no but better then that you must know when to say yes.

Continue to Date your Mate

I truly believe one of the  single most importnant factors in lost of spark in a relationship comes from the stoppage of dating. When a couple first meet and start to date there is a magical feeling there. They want to be together often and usually on the phone talking or texting each other to stay engage. Perhaps you remember the time that he use to sing, write poems, or take you out frequently. Maybe she would give you massages, cook, and make you feel love each second you were in her presence. What happened to the living happily ever after once you met that special person that you thought was the one. What happens to the spark? It is thought of by many people that when two people meet they start off with a spark. Then they fall in love in live happily ever after. Sorry to bust your bubble but in many cases that's not how it is. Many that fall in love are left in a more mature state in their relationship. They usually are deeply bonded but not connected on the intimate level as in the beginning.

OK...For the good news!

It doesn't have to be this way. Obviously there will be some days where one may feel more in love and others where the connection and intimate level isn't there, but these are issues that can totally be conquered. That magical feeling does not have to die out. It starts with killing that thought process that after awhile it is what it is in a relationship. We together...We been together…I understand her...She understand me...etc. To achieve firing back up a spark a couple need to realize they have to date again.

What you need to search for is that time in the relationship where it was a WOW. Where it seemed like everything was about you and your mate. Nothing else mattered! If you two didn't have many memories then just go rent a movie about romance. That should help out a bit. Also going on dates and doing things are not the only way to creating that dating experience  over again. You need to create a department in your brain that would allow you to feel like the relationship is something new. Women give your man a new look. Go buy a new dress. A style you usually don't wear or different design in your hair. Men go get a new piece of clothing. Something she not use to seeing as far as style. This will create that perception that you are new because your style would be new. This little bit of style can carry that thought on for days.

Stay curious about new aspects of this “new” person, no matter how extraordinary the situation seems. Allow your love to grow and change. Be daring as you try to keep the spark alive. Try new things...Think exciting...Happiness...Fresh!!! Most importantlydon't kill the experience by thinking about the past, and thinking about how you previously went about things. Think outside the box. Surprise your mate and yourself. Go get concert tickets..Stay at really nice hotel overlooking water…Dinner on the lake. It would be fun, and it would create the spark that you are looking for. Doing this experience monitor your feelings. You will realize that there is a spark that is being rediscovered.

The beginning of an Relationship

The beginning of any relationship is very critical. There is a 50/50 split on where things can turn. You may like the person one day, and just as easily you can despise that person the next. Why? This is because you are trying to figure that person out. You are interested to see what they are about, and if they can help better you. Many people always concentrate only on the positive things at the beginning of any relationship. It is very important that if you are really trying to meet someone then you put in the effort to learn that person. It's important to not only focus on the positive, but also the negative ways to a person. ***Get to know the true them***. This is accomplished by spending valuable time with someone. There is no way that you can actually learn someone without spending quality time trying to get to know them. Often the last thing you want to do is just hop into a relationship with someone. Good example would be like taking an exam. If you meet a person out at a dinner on a Monday there is only so much you will learn that night, and most likely you will not learn anything on their dark side. If you started to study for an exam on Monday you will take in a lot. YES! You will take in many of the topics that you find to be easy to grasp because as you dig deep it gets harder. Tuesday you decide to catch up with that special person because you felt so connected, and before going out for a movie you decide to study a bit more. Tuesday is a good night! You learn and You learn..lol....Now for the next week you decide that you want to stop studying, and that you not going to contact that special person. This is where the problem come in with time....Why? Well because you did not put no time in studying you have lapse and most likely forgotten everything that you had studied, and you probably forgotten what this special person look like. Now they feel like you on games and is starting to question you as a person, and you feel dumb because you just wasted a week of your life. With both of these cases time spent could have at least saved one of them if had you studied or spent time with the person. These are the types of topics I will discuss. There is a lot of information that I could share to both women and men, and I am very excited to get started with blog.